so... i came home and my grandmother started yelling at me about the time... once again -.-'

seriously give me a concrete time to come home if you're going to give me a curfew. don't just say "come home earlier" grahhh
and...if you're going to fucking ask me what I was doing until 1am (...even though it wasn't even 1am yet when you asked!!)... Don't fucking say "Who cares?!" when I say I was playing Scrabble because obviously you're the one that cares if you're fucking asking me in the first place!!!!! >.<'

and...while I'm at it...

if you're trying to make me feel bad about having a boyfriend...it's not working -.-'

he isn't the only thing i care about. I care about the rest of my friends as well!
(i mean... i've been trying to figure out ways to smooth things over with the latest drama and whatnot)

and i care about school too, of course!
(...there IS a reason why I spend tons of time checking and rechecking the UCLA website all the time ... I don't want to fuck anything up before I even get in >.>' )


i never fucking  asked you for a fucking laptop. if it comes to it, i'll buy myself one even if you don't get me one, and even if my mom isn't able to help me out with the cost at all. and...why the hell do you say she has a lot of money just because she works?! you know perfectly well she doesn't!!!
and usually you're the one saying "omg your mom doesn't have a lot of money blah blah." make up your damned mind! it can't be both ways depending on your mood and what your agenda is!!

thanks alot for screwing up what turned out to be a pretty damned good day (better than the past week or so anyways >.>')
(well...minus the part where I found out that my bank that my grandmother picked went bankrupt D; ... but i have to wait till i get my Fin Aid check before I can try and transfer my money to another bank... >.>; )

i seriously can't wait till i move to the dorms at UCLA. guh -_-''
i won't have to worry about when i sleep and stuff at least (it's not like i'll really do all that much going out during the week... )
even though i'm planning on coming home on weekends... i'm thinking of just staying at my mom's house anyways. though...i don't think my grandmother will let me on days my mom works (even though i'm just 3 months shy of my 21st birthday)
i think it's time that i get some small bit of independance. i know i'm not ready just yet to totally move out on my own permanently and deal with everything that comes with that, but at least it's a small step?

haha... i remember when i was younger(and even now sometime) if i was acting up (or talking back as they call it now... -.-' ) my grandma would be like "we're old... we should be enjoying our old age not taking care of another kid, we raised three already"
uh... it wasn't really my choice to live here (especially as a kid). And now that i'm older and actually able to be able to stay home alone when my mom is at work, she won't let me anyways and i end up staying here anyways  -.-' (even though i'd really rather go to my mom's house... it's more peaceful there )
when i went on the san francisco trip, my mom said that my grandma said that she sort of missed having me around  >.<'
wtf is going to happen when i move out for the dorms?
guh...it's like she decides i'm an adult when it's convenient for her, and the rest of the time treats me like i'm not...
i know she means well but gah. I get annoyed with the inconsistency, and her ability to bring subjects into her rants that have NOTHING to do with what we're currently talking about... just to make people feel worse =/

sorry about the incoherentness of the post but... i felt like releasing some steam before going to sleep. >.<'
anyways... i'm exhausted and pissed off so i should be off to bed -.-'

i'll post about the rest of AX soon! ^-^'